What You Can Learn From My Struggle With Constructive Criticism

It is crucial that we learn how to talk, compassionately, and reassuringly, to the insecure child within us.

Photo by Alina Vilchenko from Pexels

The Child Within Us

There is much to be said about our adult lives, but most, if not all issues we carry on our backs come from our childhood. Growing up, I was taught to seek the approval of others. I needlessly aimed to be excellent, not for my sake, but for everyone to love me.

Stay Calm

When your heart starts beating rapidly and your palms get sweaty, breathe deeply to stay calm. Even when it does not come easily or naturally, calmness and clarity always win over agitation.

Listen to Understand

As much as possible, do not interrupt, argue, refute, or correct facts, or bring up your own criticisms and complaints.

Show Your Empathy

However, there is no need to respond immediately, especially when you need to sort yourself out first. When you are not sure how to respond yet, buy yourself some time.

Speak Your Truths

Do not hide from your truths to appease everyone else. Instead, relay to the other person how you may see things differently. If your points are legitimate, choose the right tact and timing to be heard.

Speak Kindly

Above all else, speak kindly to yourself and others. They may think that they are being polite when they are actually being aggressive. Or they may be so nervous that they may default to talking too much. In any event, you defuse the tension when you approach them with kindness.

The Bottom Line

It is crucial that we learn how to talk, compassionately, and reassuringly, to the insecure child within us.

Writing about life and how to it get better at it. We cover topics like Psychology, Mental Health, and Relationships. Contact@JaleelWallace.com

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store